a very deceiving independence day

yes i am deceived and angry, not sad, her father told mine, no, i don't know the view of the girl, I don't know what she thinks about me, she is always in her home, as it is summer, i don't know if she knew another guy, or even if she need to know me more to decide. or if she wants to continue her post-graduation studies.

i just spoke to her one time, a three months ago for just five minutes, it was the first time i saw her, what's was a crazy scene, i told her that I'll ask for her hand( i am not sure if it's correct in English), and if she was interested, she told me, i should see her father and i don't try to speak to her again,she is a good girl, she cares about her reputation, she don't risk to be seen by her relatives speaking to a stranger, the university where she studies is near my town, so all students know each others , it was my first “dates” with her, perhaps the last, but it was enough for me ( apparently it was not the case for her)to feel that something good can be reached between us.

i suppose, people with others cultural background, just say, what the hell with those guys who want to engage without knowing their partners, but unfortunately it is just like that, i live in a country side, people are very conservative, girls don't walk in the street, it is not granted at all to “access” them, you can't simply go to her and say “ i need to talk to you”,

our theory is that, if the girl is from a good family, and if the people who study with her, the neighbors,your mum which know her mum, told you, she is a good one, then you don't need to know her personally, love come after the marriage, perhaps it sounds weird for you, but it works, Ok not all the time, but statically speaking, the divorce in the case of this traditional way is very low.

i think basically it was my fault, i was in a hurry, i have perhaps “the near 30 years syndrome”, in my country the average age of marriage for men is thirty, so when we approach that limits, we become like mad, searching for the sweetheart that will spend the rest of life together. and most of the time, in lieu, of searching for love, we end as seeking only the marriage.

and about the title, yesterday the fifth of July was our independence day, 45 years ago we got our freedom, from the French occupation. but with the social situation we have, people here don't care about this day, it is just another boring day.